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July 04 Inside the infinite.I Feel It Again.
Feel it again. I thought this would never end.
People and places come and go. This past Friday while reupholstering my neices winnie-the-pooh chair this feeling kicked right in that I had did this before. Shampoo cleaning her chair all came back to me. And this was in the very same house I last had my feel it again experience. This deja vu was something that crept up in a noticed moment. In between the first time I had did this before and the time of feeling and noticing it once again was a total length of amnesia. I can only describe this as somewhat as a precognition except I did not predict this,rather,it was like coming out of somewhere in time. The deja vu experience for me has some connection between this house certain objects in a dimension of time. This felt as though I was reconnecting with a past life,so to speak. It just felt that way. Astral Catalepsy. 24 hours ago,I was trapped inside a state of astral catalepsy while in sleep. My astral body(soul) has not made an total entry back in my body. Both the soul and the body has not been in total alignment. Sleep Paralysis. With my eyelids closed I was able to see the room I was through my third eye projection. Portion of the sunlight reflected off the walls. A shadow not threatening came up to me and spoke. Both of us spoke only through inner voice. I told the shadow do not come to me. It replied back to me by asking why can't I move. I told this blurring shadow figure that I have sleep paralysis,just help me make a quick entry back in my body. This was just an brief involuntary out-of-body experience. I then felt this gentle touch on my shoulder.... when I opened my eyelids nobody was there. It was still early evening. The shadow I am convinced,was my spirit guide in assistance. -Daniel. June 29 Trout fishing. This 18 3/4" german brown was baited after this sucker took my nightcrawlers I feed with.
May 19 Psychic abilities likely to correlate in sleep paralysis.Hi again. In response to the writer who asked me "what the hell does my blog have to do with anything that people are talking about?",only if this indignant reader would just consider,there are thousands of blogs on myspace,not just mine. And I haven't heard from any other complaint forwarded to me. I really found out in life,there are people who are simply nit-pickers,looking in faults in everything. Geeze,get a life,some of you! There are more important things in life to worry about than to concern yourself in my business. Maybe some of you don't care what I post on my blog,so that's kind of cool with me. Just don't bother even reading it if you don't like what you see. It's my blog entry,not yours,capisce? The writer also remarked my stories are not in order as they occur. Meaning I'm skipping from one year and rebounding back. Yeah,yeah,I have no intention in keeping my stories in chronological order. This is not a e-book pal! Do yourself a favor...that is to leave my blog,common sense indicates this. Furthermore,if you are the type of person who would do anything to discount my own experiences with seeing objects,graphic images during Sleep Paralysis as false,know it is my experience,not yours. If you feel the urge to debunk me,go ahead and try. I'm pretty sick of the psychology department insisting people with Sleep Paralysis Awakeness are over-reacting with fear....hypersensitive,needs to calm down and be given a dosage of so-called anti-anxiety medications such as Ritalin,Zoloft. I'm not whacked out,nor psychotic,let alone schizophrenic. They suspect people like myself have ADHD,or so I was told by my doctor. If this is true,I've learned to cope with my behavior. Ha! I could laugh until my stomach aches. "A psychotic is a patient who is more neurotic than his doctor." *ooh,I'm being funny now* When we hear the terms "Psychic" and "Premonition" we often categorize it involves a young caucasian female who has recurring dreams of loved ones from The Other Side. In television,there are two popular series,"Ghost Whisperer" and "Medium." In "Ghost Whisperer",the character is a young female Melinda Gordon who has this gift of communicating with ghosts in making amends met by becoming a medium between the ghost and the family. 'Medium' is more of t.v. based psychic detective in which a woman Allison DeBoise,a medium,who uses her precognitive dreams and visions to assist a Phoenix District Attorney in solving crimes. Well,not ruling anybody out,both females as well us males are spiritual beings. No evidence indicates only females will have dreams of communicating with loved ones who have crossed to The Other Side. Males just like the counterpart mammals,females,will have dreams with loved ones as well. Society has stereo-typed males are only good for this: logic in reason,and are doubtful in spiritualism. In biblical scriptures,men had prophetic dreams that foretold the coming of Jesus the Christ. During the so-called "abnormal" sleep paralysis episodes,I would be like coming out of a deep REM cycle,when I was crushed with a heavy sensation that locks my body into a paralysis. My arms can't move,my mouth feels being covered with a blanket,that I have to focus on breathing. I can't achieve in moving my legs either. I'm literally paralyzed with this dreaded fear of dying. A dark shadow,or at times a silhouette of a human like figure is standing at my bedside lurking upon me. No BS! I've been having these so-called nightmares since I was a young teen. Now,in recent months,I've been getting less episodes. The ringing in my ears,and hearing ghastly voices that would make people think I'm suffering from a bipolar disorder.....all in my head. The ringing I could understand it being from rhinitis,since I am an allergy sufferer. My sinus passages are partly obstructed,so that I find it easier to breath through my mouth. The voices is not triggered by a chemical imbalance-a misfiring flow of neurons in my brain. I'm not psychotic! I hear my name being called. I hear tiny "chant" whispers from voices,nothing in malevolence. During ASP,I hear a scream coming from a unknown source,so to speak. At first I thought I was going crazy,but now I know I am not suffering from a mental illness. 10 years ago,I was asked by a neighbor if I could watch her house for a week while she went on a business trip. So,one night,I was sleeping at her place alone. Then I was awakened by voices coming from the kitchen area,yet unable to move. I was essentially sleep paralysis in a awakened state in mind. I swear,the things I was able to see---the kitchen light on,and the room I was staying in was just a few feet away. I could see the light on through the crevices of the bedroom door and the door frame. I can hear people talking,and the clinging of plates and glasses. The first reaction I got is that "she",my neighbor. came home on a short notice; she must of brought along company. And she would be coming in to the bedroom I was sleeping in,finding me asleep. I just couldn't move,I was pinned under the sheets. Then I felt a finger touch on my arm that broke off the paralysis. If this was a fearful imagination in my dreamlike sub-conscious,then my mind was played on with hypnogogic hallucinations. And that wasn't the only time,I've heard people talking when there is literally nobody in the direction of where the noises are coming from. I've been researching into this phenomena for quite a long time. I know what I have,not what some doctor says otherwise: hypochondriac-morbid concern of one's own health. Who is not concerned about their health? The doctor makes it sound so simple that I am too-health conscious. This by theory,is being overwhelmingly over stressing my concern about my health. I have other things to consider about,as though I make my health the center of my entire life. There are other things I am concerned about than my own health. I,however,won't let those concerns run my life. In various cultures,what I have been experiencing at times is called "spiritual possession." Going back to the cradle of civilization,demons have been said to assault their victims while these people slept. Lilith,the queen of demons,was perhaps the first. She is known to devour the flesh of her victims. Other demons,it is called The Old Hag,in Newfoundland. A spector would sit on the body of the sleeper to cause harm. Depending on the nature of each spector,demon,hobgoblin, these entities have a purpose. I won't list each. I am very much alive. Sleep Paralysis has never killed anyone,that for a fact. In the Phillipines as I had said,young males have died in their sleep. The main culture is primary eating high salty foods and indulging in beer. It affects the health in these so-called healthy males. In the night,they did actually die in their sleep,the result of inflammed pancreas. The new insight look of this Brugada Syndrome is scientifically ruled as cardiac arrest. Simply put: indulging food is common in Filipino culture,as much to celebrate. The Bangungot is a obese nighthag,usually described in folklore as a female. She would sit on the face of her male host and suffocating him to death. The legend has it,the obese hag lives in trees. When a tree of her residence has fallen and she is used as a bedpost or a support frame for a house,the baitabat(or Bangungot)transforms into a vengful spirit and crushes him into the bangungot death. To ward of this nighthag,the sleeper wiggles his fingers or a big toe to drive it away. Locals natives have said nobody has ever survived the Bangungot syndrome. You've seen the Nightmare on Elm Street series,have you not. The nightmare boogie man is a disfigured killer Freddy Kruger armed with those razor knives attached to his gloves. Screenwriter and Director Wes Craven based the nightmare killings from various news articles on young kids who came to the United States with migrant parents seeking for a better life,escaping the Pol Pot regime. The country these natives came from,there is always a rash of unexplained nocturnal death syndrome,mainly from South East Aisa. In Hmong and Vietnamese children,the troubling effects of them dying in their homeland did not stop. When the survivors immigrated,the nightmares continued. It was usually the young boys who would die as they slept. There is no simple explanation of this. And this is not entirely related to Sleep Paralysis. And certainly not spiritual possession. If it was sleep paralysis,then it would of been a extreme case of muscle atonia,no muscle tone, that paralyzed the diaphragm and cardiac muscles. This is unlikely because both muscles need to function to pump in oxygen into the lungs,and release carbon dioxide in exchange. Figuratively,people born in September,17 to 21,around the third week,and in March right before the Vernal Equinox,March 21,are susceptible in spiritual attacks. Does the months mean anything to me? none at all. That was based on eastern religions. It could happen to anyone born on any given month. It does not have have to take a rocket scientist to figure it out. People who are hyper-sensitives have a keen in picking up other peoples emotions,hence,are sensitive to the needs of others. From a perspective,hypers,are regarded as to being more open to spiritual conscience. By saying these,sensitivity is not a weakness,but rather a blessing. It would be awkward if I was to say sleep paralysis is a curse than a blessing. Being a sensitive individual,I now find my experiences to be a gift,than a medical problem as I once thought. And I need to work on not using profanity when I am emotionally upset or hyper. On September 11,2001,the view of our world had changed. The heightened of national security suddenly was on the rise for obvious reasons. Precognitive dreams of this tragedy beforehand was described of a airliner flying too low crashing into a building,in the days and weeks before 9/11. Some had this premonition,others have telepathy as the event took place in actual time. On that Tuesday morning,I had this horrifying telepathic dreamlike vision that a puff of cloudy smoke,and a fireball came plowing out from a building. But,I did not know what building it was from. Just like a Awake Sleep Paralysis episode,I could not move,or utter out so much a croak from my mouth in attempts to say a word. My relative told me she was wide awake in the weeks before 9/11; she seen a airliner flying too low and smashing into a building,this being in not a dream,but in a full awake state. On a paranormal website,I once read some of the firefighters in the FDNY had precognitive dreams of smoke,and flames of a building,their comrades were trapped inside,in the months before 9/11. In the year 2001,honestly,alone,from March to late October,I had at least more than 10 digit numerous experiences with sleep paralysis. Is there some connection to 9/11/01? I can't really be positive to my question. In the months prior to 9/11/01,I had this bad dream,I could not figure it out to this very day,that I was in a elevator. I was dressed in a business suit. A few men also dressed the same was with me in this elevator,when all of sudden all of us were knocked down by a violent movement. The scene was so tense,I was thrown side to side against these other occupants in the elevator as I could feel the pressure inside this chute dragging us downwards. The final moment is that the elevator was literally spinning around in a 360 degree turn,downright-face down,that bodies were slamming against each other,I felt this banging on my head,then I looked at this man laying down with two coins on his eyelids. The throwing back and fourth- it gave me such a queezy,ill feeling to my stomach that I actually felt malaise trapped in a body. When I awoke,I felt the effects that I almost vomitted. Nearly six months proceeding this dream,on a Tuesday morning,September 11,2001,I seen the effects and its affects on lower Manhattan. Just maybe If my dream interpretation is right about this being related to a tragic event,then I must of been experiencing this catastrophe through the eyes of a person who was indeed employed at the World Trade Center,hence,this is called remote viewing. I just knew I never made it out. With such impact,September 11,2001 affected us humans,who could not forget. How could it not affect the lady who had this image of the airliner flying in much lower than its normal airspace in the days before this happened. What did the coins on the eyelids mean? The only thing that came fresh to my mind,is coins were placed on the eyelids of the dead,that I learned in mythology. For example,in the t.v. mini-series "The Blue And The Gray",a character in the film,Jonah,was a psychic who predicted happenings in his dreams,only that he could not find the meaning to them. In the near end of the film,a bad happening for Abraham Lincoln,the night the president was shot in Fords Theater. The dream had been taken place on a coast. Abe was on this rowing boat standing on its planks,when the beach waves knocked him off the planks,throwing him into the water. The psychic in that dream,standing on the sandy beach,watched this going on,that he immediately swam onshore to rescue the president. When he retrieved the body,the president was dead; his eyes covered in silver coins,as this is symbolically a tradition,where a ferryman,Charon, taking the soul across the river Styx to the realm of the dead,would be compensated with coins as the spirit(of the dead) would cross to the afterlife. During this entire dream,the president was assassinated. Jonah,eyes wide open could not speak,only a fainting sound escaping his mouth was seeing the life of Abe Lincoln in mortal danger. Jonah,was sleep paralyzed locked within a dreamlike imagery. I feel that I am gifted in using my SP and Out-Of-Body-Experiences for something. Early in 2001,I had many as 8 OOBE and Lucid Dreams in April. I first thought I was paralyzed when I awoke,only that I did not experience any "old hag" pressure on my chest. I was able to move out freely out of my body,walk my way around the front of my bed and into the hallway. The way I describe myself "walking" out of my body,is quite lucid. It felt as though I was floating ontop of a air mattress. As I was half-way in the hallway,I could see my brother,sister,and my sisters friend at the kitchen where they were using a computer. From their advantage view,it would not be impossible to notice someone is in the hallway. They did not see me,I saw them in a mental clarity. This was nearly close to a lucid dream. The question remains,does Sleep Paralysis run in the family? in short,is it hereditary? I had done my research into my family and has found nobody had-has this. Nobody,except for me. I've read a blog online that a man says his condition of SP is biological-inherited from family history. I can't speak for everybody else,just maybe my readers can ask this $50,0000 question to any of their own family members. I would like your input on this. ©Daniel Cuaresma. May 12 The dream mechanism and newborn baby.Hey peeps! This morning I had a dream that had interpreted to be a overcoming of a slight problem. I do consider it a release dream. I was in a field in the Delta,where my late father used to irrigate fields. A rusted orange tractor was parked on a dirt road. It had been stuck there because the tractor driver could not start the tractor; it had been immobilized; a engine problem. I was standing there looking at the driver in frustration. I then gave him a helping hand,as I told him I would be starting the tractor for him. Out of a instinct I shifted the gears and cranked up the motor of this vessel and the tractor did start. Now,I do not by fact know how to operate a tractor; my late father knew how; he was a pro. For a reason,in my dream,I did operate this piece of machinery,hauling this tractor into gear. I could hear the putting and felt the jerking of the tractor stuttering. It stopped operating. By chance,I plowed my way into a school yard nearby. The engine gave out in the middle of the schools play yard. Then I quickly hopped out of this farm machine and ran over to a school yard shed where heavy machinery was stored. I pulled back the bay door and what came into view was this huge tank/tractor. It looked like that SandCrawler in the film 'Star-Wars' . "Yippie Kai-Yay" I happily exclaimed. I operated this monster like machine in full gear out of the shed and hauled butt to the play ground where the disabled tractor parked. There were a few kids there looking at the tank I was operating, in a "Wow!" look in their faces. "Coming Through!" I warned the kids. I yanked from the seat a long steel chain which I used to hitch from this Big Monster to the front end of the tractor. To reassure myself of how much tension I need to pull,I eyeballed the distance making sure there wasn't too much slack either. The only kid who was left at the yard was a young boy with these huge baby eyes looking at me as though I was someone as "awesome." More so,he was checking out this tank I was driving. 'Wow'. "Hey,kiddo,they don't call me Big Daddy for nothing." I said,then winked to let him know everything was going to just OK! "Coming Through!" I exclaimed. My emotions was like a little kid playing with his toys. Whoo Hoo! Oh Yeah! In a short throttle I easily towed away the tractor and barked out "Yabba-Dabba Doo," as Fred Flintstone says. This gave away a huge smile on the boy who was watching all of this going on. I gave him a big thumbs up. 'Way Cool Jr.' The Dream Mechanism and Telepathy. Dreams are a symbol,letting us know of problems and problem solving let alone something in our lives. Even though there are people who came into our lives and made some difference to us. And others,we just want to make amends with,and the ones we may want to reunite such as in a high school class reunion. And the word "soul mates" have various meanings. The following is one of my few intuitive dreams: I once had a dream of a young fem many years ago whom I never had a chance to really know her, only that she worked for my orthodontist,we met by strange circumstances and the situation of some of my appointments was, in a short word,strange. I only talked briefly to her; she had this perky,and cockiness to her.  In the dream,I was there watching her in a parking lot. She sensed me,and she turned around from the direction of her car. As it became to be, we both stood there staring at each other. First,she fluttered a wave to me and shed joyful tears in her eyes,and I in turn...waved and in mental telepathy called her name,but she walked away,then reaverted her attention towards me. Then she walked towards my direction where she finally embraced me,as we both held each other. She had popped in my dreams for a short time being,until a few weeks passed. I saw her approaching her workplace,while I was parking my vehicle at a busy intersection across the street. Just a like a sensitive telepathic message,we both happened to look at each other from across the street. She kept on looking at me as I passed on by her,as I also looked at her. The traffic was in such a hurry behind me, I didn't get the chance to pull up to the parking lot to greet her,because I was only in town for business only,and just happened to be on my way home a few hours away where I had family responsibilities awaiting me. That was the very last time we both seen each other. Talk about telepathy. Until that moment,dreams about her came to an end. During my appointments,in the years prior,I felt like we actually knew each other,even though I never said that much to her,only for business..I felt a presence as though she knew something about me,and I sensed something about her. We both never got along that well,as you can figure out I was not amoung her favorite dental patients. I do regret,I wish I got to know her better,than being a stranger. It was no coincidence she came in my dreams,I had thought about her for quite a while,in spite of our differences. What became of this orthodontic dental assistant,I do not know.  Of all females I have met,this particular woman stood out and was quite different. Just don't ask me why,it's just that way. Yeah,yeah,sounds like I am a soap-opera romance fantasy writer with such lucid imagination,but it's true.Anyways..When I was at the hospital this afternoon,the first time in my life I held a newborn baby in my arms,in real life. The baby wasn't just any other infant,she is my niece.The daughter of my brother...my blood. At first I was anxious,and nervous-because I was in a way scared because in the back of my mind,I was worried about to carry a baby properly. Ah ha,I guess that is how silly my-at-times child-like mind that I embrace. And I'm an sensitive adult. Ha ha ha to me. I'm cool about it. Dream specialists theorize,when we dream of our teeth falling out,it could mean two things: Becoming mature in process. The other - having child-like ways and needs to put those silly ways about us aside..in a symbolic meaning. But who is to say I need to grow up. I am me,I am who I am,and I know myself better than anyone else who think they know all there is to know. When my sister-in-law gave me her baby to hold this afternoon,out of a reaction I simply cradled the child in my arms. So tender and warm the baby felt, in my arms, the anxiety wasn't there. Cool. So,the dream of this tractor being disabled to me,is that I was hesitant just me being stuck there ,only unsure. The tank is a symbol of overcoming my anxiety,and the fear. The driver was my dream skill taking over. As for the young boy--I am not quite sure to make of him. Could he be my childlike image in my dream? Or possibly in my dream sub-conscious the boy could be telling me I would be a father in the near distant future. Ha...ha,ha,ha.  (Playing "Play By Play" by Y&T) ©Daniel Cuaresma March 26 Some wierd dreams.It had begun,first with a dream, with me and a big group of people inside a railroad underground. Somebody yelled out "don't worry,it's safe. We're all inside a fallout shelter. A man with silver streaky hair claimed "I'm the President of the United States,damn it! As long as I'm alive we're all safe!" I was ordered by a government official to suck in the air of this PVC pipe for air quality. So I did that. I sucked in the air several times when a huge thud caused a violent tremble of this underground. A second tremor caused the President to fall on-top of a couple as to shield them. Nothing collapsed from above. "{Hey young man,you still there" yelled out the President. I wasn't sure if he was talking to me. There were other young people inside this fallout. A secret service agent announced to everyone "We were hit with a H-Bomb!" Hyy-drogen that is. The President got on his feet and said calmly "We're going to be inside this rat tunnel for days to come." We all walked towards a dark passage. At the dark end of this tunnel appeared my old house back in the East Bay Area,from the front yard,then was zoomed in quickly inside. The first person I saw inside was my late father. He was dressed in a black turtleneck sweater and gray slacks and loafers dressed up for an occasion. Somebody in the hallway spoke out "Your father is a lucky man. He just inherited 1500 acres of orange trees in Salinas. You people are fat rich. So take what you can and live well." My old man used to be a tractor driver,field worker in Salinas and Brentwood for over 30 years of his life. He was into agriculture. The next thing I knew was he was bursting in joy and both him and I were inside his '72 Chevy Pickup truck he had for so many years. It happened he was driving in practically light speed that the next thing I remembered we were following a young Mexican American woman driving a late 90's Ford Mustang,offering to lead the way,all we had to do was follow her. Instead of heading south towards the South Bay ,my dad was hauling his truck to a different part of Calif with the female ahead of us cruising. My old man had a white envelope in his had while driving. I attempted to yank the item from his hand,but stubborn as he was fought me with one had,while keeping his other on the steering wheel. Then he elbowed my face and said "hey,come on now. How much did you get." No response. I felt pretty much exhausted a few moments later ,that I practically went into brief nap,for about 5 minutes,that when I opened my eyelids we were heading towards a orchard field of orange trees. A voice said onto me coming from somewhere in the distance "congratulations,both of you made here in 12 hours." a gigantic clock about several hundred feet drifted into view behind the trees and suspended in mid air with the smaller hand pointing at 2 and the big hand at 4--2:20. The woman both dad and I were following speed off beyond the destination point as she outdistanced us now. A dirt road on the left side of the asphalt road my dad turned onto lead to a small town. Inside this town were merchants along the side with fruit selling booths on each side of the dirt road. They greeted us. We got out of the vehicle and I saw this dark alley way on the side of this agricultural town which I walked into. I could hear people talking to my old man,while I drifted away into the dark alley. When I walked further inside the darkness,I stepped out of a silver mobile home.The scenery was different. The outside I was somewhere in the mountains,with the camper parked along aside a highway,with a river flowing aside of it. A uplifted Chevy Truck with fog lights came from the right side where I stood,and was parked on the road by the driver. He rolled down his window and asked me "Well,did you get it done?" I shook my head up and down to acknowledge a "yes." The driver had on a ski mask rolled up in a beanie shape above his brow. I saw his face. He looked like a Mexican American male in his 40's,with that Mexican bandit look (curly goatee and bushy eyebrows). He wore a navy blue jacket. Inside the cab,was a rifle mounted above the rear window. I was suddenly pulled away into a mans head who was directly behind me. I floated inside his skin and skull and had this memory of what I(or this person did). Wielding a shotgun,with leather gloves dressed in woodland camo. I busted inside the mobile home and ordered the occupants to put their hands in the air. A dirty blonde hair male in his late 20's with long wavy/curly hair had one hand in the air with a beer bottle and a deck of cards in the other downwards reaching for something,as he frantically looked at me and said 'ok,brother we'll talk about it.' When he got really nervous he dropped the bottle and I pumped the shotgun I blew a blast of pellets into his chest. The shotgun was set in auto. I heard him moaning as he quickly fell face first onwards the table. His sweetheart came out of the bathroom and without hesitation I shot her as well. I could hear the loudness of the gas escaping the barrel of my shotgun. The woman's face was blasted. I spun around and saw two children on the top portion of a bunk bed facing me. Like the previous,I wasted no time and wasted both of them. I felt no remorse. It was like out of habit. I looked at my clothing. It was covered with powder residue and there was blood and gore on parts of inside of this mobile home. I noticed a bag cut open on the sink. Inside was white powder,with traces of white residue all over the formica board. I left the contents there,and quickly pushed the door wide open and almost hopped out of this vehicle. I was facing a river across this highway and looked to my right and saw a blue Chevy step-side approaching me. The driver asked "Well,did you get it done". Nodding my head in a gesture of 'got it accomplished' I quickly ran to the other side of the truck and seated myself in the dark leather seats. I just turned around to stash the shotgun behind the seat,when the driver slammed both his hands on the steering wheel in anger. He got out of the vehicle in the middle of the road and brandished out a revolver and stormed inside the old looking camper and a six shots I heard blasting. The next thing I saw was darkness,as I drifted inside a dark room,with a tiny light reflecting off the ceiling. A digital clock read 4:15. I was arousing from a sleep cycle and noticed I was caught between sleep and awakening. I had focused on my breathing to induce a projective catalepsy state. My intent was to climb upwards by holding onto a rope visually. A red ribbon dangled towards me,when all of a sudden.... I felt a stampede of heavy objects sitting on my chest and found it real hard to gain composure. Then I was snapped out of a sleep paralysis state. I hovered myself out of the air mattress and looked at the clock. 7:15 (c)Daniel Cuaresma March 23 Alarm clock ringing while in the awake sleep paralysis state.I was alarmed by the digital clock beeping one morning when actually it wasn't set for 5:15 A.M. At no time did the alarm clock ring in arousing my sleep brain to awake. It nearly simultaneously was ringing when I woke up in the awake/hypnogogic sleep paralysis mode. I was immobilized to move and the alarm clock was going off,or so it was perceived. The digital reading: 5:15 before exiting from this state appeared in my sight and without any knowledge of what time it really was. The night lamp was turned on and a figure stalked across the room in front of my bed. Nothing malevolent. Nothing was addressing my senses as frightening. One snap of my right fingers startled me into mobilizing myself,snapping out of this paralyzed state. It was dark completely except for the digital clock across the room facing my left side. 5:16. A archetype of a dream symbol. Years ago,a similar incident occurred several times at 2:15 A.M. that is. I recall in a science class years ago,one of the mechanics of the neuropyshiology of sleep it was the 2 o'clock hour ,the brain hormone 'melatonin'(responsible for detecting night and day-body's natural biological clock) is at it's fullest peak. It was only a quarter after 5 A.M. and the outside is still dark. Melatonin usually decreases after wards at at time right before sunrise,and seretonin(one of the five neurotransmitters. This particular neuron is responsible for detecting body temperature,sleep,mood,appettite)increases or elevates. My body is alseep,but my mind has awoke--awake sleep paralysis. How the reading of the digital clock and the biological clock is what I interpret as signals as to wake up.I figure it depends on our own biological clock. (c)Daniel Cuaresma March 20 Recurring Dream!This dream of a young female at a park is open up to my own interpretation.
I am thinking it maybe that this unknown young woman is somebody I am supposed to meet,though I have a female companion at present time.
Had I met somebody in the past that I was attracted to? I don't forget a face.
Was she from the other side? I do have quite a bit of out of body experiences,astral projection.
Aristotle,the philosopher,said something about dreams: there is a positive gate and a negative gate to our own dreams. Perhaps,this cute female is a positive,hehehe.
Gray markings are caused from scan machine. Drawing of "Girl In The Park" is the ownership of Daniel Cuaresma (c)2009. All I could remember is that she is my height,sand color hair,dark olive skin complexion,light blue eyes. She tells me that I do not need to fear....needs to find inner strength for the time to come. "find peace,make peace" she added. Her words were said in a soft spoken tone.
I was about to reply when she lifted two of her fingers towards my mouth in a gesture not to say a word. All a while she smiled at me.
Then in a short moment afterwards,she suddenly turned her back away from me and walked away down a trail in this park,with only the two of us. Nobody else I recall was present.
I then wanted to follow her...
I felt too weird as I awoke. As the morning progressed I felt rejuvinated. December 23 The finale before Christmas,last post of 2008.As I was driving on Wicklow Way a few weeks ago upon reaching Wal-Mart in Martell, I,instead swung a left towards the K-Mart parking lot enterance. As I entered the lot I gave no hesitation in parking on the store's west side and got out after I parked my vehicle. On my right hand side I walked towards a groove of trees perched over a embankment that shadowed over a ravine; an area of discarded two-year old Andrew Bailey found by Amador sheriff officers and the crime scene processed by the FBI. All I thought about was 2-year old Andrew,of how his last moments ended in terror; but how can anyone really visualize and feel the dread of a murdered victim; a screwdriver plunged into your body. Lucid morbidity. And your killer was your own father; filicide.
I stood over the bank and thought deeply about what might of occured in detail on the morning of March 15,2008 at this very same location. A father without any remorse after stabbing a child then taking him out of his vehicle and placing his body; in all of this over a dispute with his common-in-law partner whom Charles Bailey maimed with a ax hours before.
Less than one hundred yards on the riverbank bridge of Wicklow Way,where the overhead steel rails divide a sidewalk and the ditch below is where for a few months, a colorful shrine dedicated to Andrew pasted to remind passing motorists little boy Bailey is not forgotten by Amadorians. Andrew's family thanked the people of our community for showing support for them.
Us Amadorians less than rare do we ever have a share of homicides; I think it is because of the cozy atmosphere that drives away the crazed city types; but even they need a getaway from time to time. In fact the March 15th filicide was not the first in Amador County. In 1980 the last known case of filicide in Amador County occcured when Gina Sargent ,then of Pioneer pushed her 5-year-old stepdaughter down the stairs. The girl died two days later as a result from bruising sustained in the fall. Sargent is currently serving a life-sentence in the Central California Woman's Facility in Chowchilla for murder of her stepdaughter.
Why did Charles Bailey have any business in our community to begin with? why couldn't he work out his problems with his girlfriend back in Shingle Springs? Why did he have to take it out on his son? The latter question can be hypothesized as unfit to bring up a child in this world. It is not so much as financial from the fact Charles has property claims in several areas here in the golden state.
All of this happenings in the realm of true crime has gotten me into a hungry appetite that I've been reading news articles on the arrest of Charles Bailey during munchies. Have a holly jolly Christmas and happy new year. I'll be back on here sometime in 2009.
Just perhaps I'll be posting more especially on the Santa Rosa unsolved homicides,just maybe,and sleep paralysis/projective catalepsy-the reason that started me to open a blog in the first place.
RIP Andrew Bailey.
 December 15 Regap em' spark plugs for San Francisco.In addition to add a strength to a woeful lineup, the San Francisco Giants as of early this month added free agent infielder Edgar Renteria in hopes of placing speed and strength at the lineup for the 2009 season.
San Francisco Giants mediocre lineup has cost the team for any balance and chances for a playoff berth since 2004 when they made a spirited run for the playoffs until the last day of that season against rivals Los Angeles Dodger at the season's finale.
More about this topic coming soon.....
December 13 Yule,an original Christmas tradition.Long before the Church observed December 25 as the date the Christ was born pagans first designed the occasion of a newborn god awakened to warm the goddess earth frozen. The Oak King,the sun god,the giver of life,was bore from mother goddess to give a rebirth to light on earth. Yule,also known as Winter Solstice on or around December 21,this sabbat is the rebirth of light and the longest night of the year. It is also a time of setting new goals and leaving behind any old regrets, this being is where on New Years where the saying goes "out with the old,in with the new" derived from Yule.
Since, the Christians and converts do not honor any pagan gods or deities, the early Catholic Church intended to remove this pagan holiday of Yule,and replace it with a Christian celebration to observe Christ's birthdate. The choice of December 25 was ordered by Pope Julius I in the fourth century.
Noticably, any Christian church just as the rest of the secular world decorates a Christmas tree with lights,ornaments and particular an angel or a star perched on the very top. Origin of a five-pointed star,the pentagram, though not satanic by this sense, is a symbol the five elments of earth, was perched atop the tree. The origin of lights and other decorations of a tree originated from the Pagan Yule.
Pagans would bring a live tree to home so wood spirits would have a place to keep warm during the long cold winter.The tree was decorated in greenery of the seasonal tradition, with cider or ale, and dusted with flour. Bells were hung on the limbs so that anyone could sense a spirit was present.
Foods and cakes were also hung on the branches for invited nature spirits to consume.
Wonder why green and red are chosen as colors in representing Christmas. It is because these are Pagan origin in the custom of exchanging gifts. Green and red have two different stories of Christmas significance. One,the Paradice tree and the other,hope and blood. The former goes back to the 1300s when Adam and Eve's Day was celebrated on December 24. The latter is given as a symbol of salvation and bloodshed,green is color of the evergreen tree remain alive and green enduring the rest of the year. Red,is the blood of the Christ,that is to a metaphor,to shed for the wrong doings of all mankind.
Yule is celebrated by fire and use of a Yule log that is the purpose of this festival. By burning the log in duration,it would burn all through out the night. Depending if you do chose to commerate Yule, set alight the log in the fireplace at dusk on Yule. The smolder of ashes in a traditional sense, would linger on for 12 days and put out. Ash gives light to the hearth of the winter solstice. A portion of this Yule log is saved to be reused in lighting for the following year. And why? to protect the home.
So in summary, one can understand where the origin of a Christmas decoration came from, so much as why people celebrate it with the colors red, and green. Christians,too, can have fun in borrowing a pagan festivity.
I have given a brief essay of Yule, researched from a wicca pagan source who provided me the proceeding information.
December 01 sleepparalysis/obe top 25 sleaze rock/glam metal bands.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVnKhB3pt4A 1) Y&T http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IepGiupfguM 2) Badlands http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9wfJs_cCLc 3) Dokken http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRDnarQO8_E 4) ICON http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3S7U_bGxLbc
5) Scorpions http://video.aol.com/video-detail/switchblade-serenade/198202901 6) Spread Eagle http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gjh562Kwul4 7) Motley Crue http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPI9PQJiMAo 8) Kingdom Come http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubZjbmA1Id0 9) Quiet Riot http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6rqA55ynPoU 10) Ratt http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYRC4H64EFk 11) Gun N' Roses http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DssSCNufJ5U 12) Hurricane http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_KzWSbDgKM 13) Femme Fatale http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7sf06VscEs 14) LION http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6mdb-IloPs - Unedited Video of "Valley Of The Kings" 15) Blue Murder http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lf-c95Po6Rc 16) LA Guns http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Xd8ykpZkwA 17) Skid Row http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjuDJtCXGqM 18) Whitesnake http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQm1_z0EsD4 19) Phantom Blue http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zD2DpFaCQQk 20) TNT (Tell Not Tales) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0QZlBty5dY 21) Vinne Vincent Invasion http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sDi0lpMg_A 22) Hardline http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g84o08HHMQs 23) Bablyon A.D. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvmoufIqGw0
24) EMN (Every Mothers Nightmare http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EI2tfJThAqU 25) Great White Well, these are my top 25 bands in the 80's hard rock/glam/sleaze metal genre that remain to rock through the 90's and to present day until the end of time.
Four days of a Thanksgiving weekend 2008.Setting aside the current economy downside, this past week was pleasant. I spent four days nearly by myself except on Turkey Day,where spending that day with my brother and sister-in-law in Stockton.
Black Friday, the following day, began as hectic. While waiting for the local Wal-Mart to open at 5:00 A.M, the crowd lined outside began at the front doors and literally ended at the Wicklow Way onramp, a distance about nearly 1/4 mile. A few officers from the Amador County Sheriff was present to regulate crowd control. Judging from the enormous crowd at that moment, I decided not to return until the eight o' cloock hour that morning.
The promo videos down the aisles of Wal-Mart got my biggest attention. Those DVD's were marked down to two dollars a piece,so why not take advantage. I purchased several to add to my DVD collection.
Freakin' greedy holiday shoppers wiped out the G.I. Joe action figures for their snotty children. I as once a teenager read G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero published by Marvel COmics....Oh well, there will be more in stock coming soon. :)
Most of the entire Thanksgiving weekend I was home viewing at least 11 of my favorite movies and snacking on desserts which my sister-in-law baked last week, regardless I am on a diet and excercise routine. Got to have a sweet tooth now and then.
November 27 Heart Of Darkness: The Punisher War ZoneDuring the moments before FOX's T.V. movie "24: Redemption" was aired this past Sunday, I had watched the teaser for the upcoming movie The Punisher War Zone. This is not going to be a sequel to the 2004 'The Punisher' which starred Tom Jane as Frank Castle (shortned for Frank Castiglione because of his Sicilian roots) aka The Punisher. The Punisher War Zone is going to be more action-packed and more macabre. And why not. This is the beyond the point of no return. Frank Castle based on the Marvel Comics anti-hero vigilante was created in the early 1970's by Marvel cartoonist John Romita Sr. Origins of The Punisher was spawned by a inevitable tragic loss of life. Frank Castle, a Marine arriving home in New York from a tour of duty in Vietnam begins to settle a new life with his wife and two children.
The Castle family had stumbled on a gangland hit then were shot and left for dead to ensure their silence. Frank Castle became the only living witness, his family did not. From that day onwards,the human spirit of Caslte engulfed into a merciless angel of death, seeking vengance first on the Costa crime organization who murdered his wife and children.
1989 reprint of "Accounts Settled, Accounts Due!" Originally publised in Marvel Super Action 1. Anything afterwards was thrown in for a lifetime to punish all criminals alike. The Hearts of Darkness lead Castle to every territory around the globe. John Romita Jr., son of the original creator of The Punisher, in 1992, created a reboot of the self-styled vigilante in the monthly comic series The Punisher War Zone, a more graphic depiction of Castle's universe. Hey! Even Romita Jr. detailed the Sicilian in Castle.
This upcoming film will be featuring a new actor to fill in the role of Frank Castle, Ray Stevenson. Castle, in his pursuit of targeting organized crime, sets his sights on a mob boss Billy Russoti (Marvel: Billy "The Beaut' Russo), who ends up disfigured eternally by the hands of The Punisher. Russoti, in wrath seeks his own vengance on Castle, persona's his new identity as 'Jigsaw.' I personally did enjoy the 1990 film 'The Punisher' that had starred Dolph
Lundgren because of the action. Otherwise the story was not that bad, other than
Dolph's flawed portrayal of The Punisher. Tom Jane's role nearly excels. War Zone is Rated R for depth of violence,colorful language, and some drug theme, thus becoming the only movie based upon a comic book character to recieve such a for mature audience label. Well, if you had read any of the Punisher comic series, what more do you expect. November 15 37 year old murder case, victim identified via DNA.Upon stumbling across a file he pulled out from a near four decade unsolved mystery in his jurisdiction, Det. Ken Hedrick pondered in solving a murder case through modern forensic technology to identify the corpse that laid in a Patterson District Cemetery grave, with no confirmation of who was buried in a cheap plywood coffin. Just a burial spot only etched as "Jane Doe."
Delta-Mendota Canal "Jane Doe" revealed via DNA, as Mary Alice Wiley, who was found dead on September 11,1971. She was 23 at the time of her death.
Her mutilated body was discovered in the Delta-Mendota Canal, in the Central Valley somewhere located between Patterson and Westley,CA. Multiple knive wounds. 65 times she was stabbed. Face. Neck. Hands. Upper body.
1971. post-mortem photo.
From the jane doe network website prior to the recent DNA verification:
[ Estimated Date of Death: September 11,1971
Cause of Death: Homicide
Estimated age: 20-35 years old
Approximate Height and Weight: 5'2-5'5"; 130-150 lbs.
Distinguishing Characteristics: Medium dark brown hari, slightly longer than shoulder length; blue eyes. Freckles above and under the eyes and across the nose. Mole 1/4 inch on the upper front thigh, close to the pubic region. No tattoos or obvious scares. She had manicured nails. Extremely large breasted. Pieced ears.
Clothing/Jewelry: A home-made top, jaguar,leopard print. Small gold earring in right ear.
Dentals: Available. Teeth are in perfect condition and straigt, there are more than eight restorations.
DNA: Available.
Case History
The victim was located floating in the Delta-Mendota Canal. A U.S. Department of the Interior employee came upon the woman's body while diving along the Delta-Mendota Canal near Westley.
There was no evidence of sexual assault. ]
2008. Forensic art helped reveal Delta-Mendota Canal "jane doe." Mary Alice Wiley.
October 12 20+ years and still a metalhead, and nothing else new to write.Nothing will stop me from being a metal head-an avid fan of heavy metal music, just about that is except for nu metal/mallcore/emo types. My ears can withstand the brutal sickening growls and the intense guitar riffs not to mention the heavy banging of the drums when death metal/black metal is played. Cannibal Corpse at first made me sick as I first heard their song "Hammer Smashed Face" in 1992 but eventually my taste for brutal death metal matured. Glen Benton,vocalist for the band Deicide is not acceptable for me due to him being an dumb ass with his Satanic raving which is too metal 1980's; I doubt (Benton) is even a Satanist as he makes himself to be as most death metal or black metal musicians persona through their dark lyrics. King Diamond, founder Mercyful Fate admitted and still does proclaim to be a true Satanist and King does have a dark sense of humor and I do love his falsetto, it's like opera-metal. King/Mercyful Fate is one of the pioneers of black metal along with Venom, Hellhammer, and Bathory though King himself influenced future black metal groups. Hellhammer in futile provided their punk rock sound in attempts to duplicate Venom's style failed,later they signed on as Celtic Frost. Bathory merged into creating Viking metal because they felt too many bands were copying them. In admission to contradict as being in league with lucifer,Venom announced the whole pact with the devil was a stage persona. Satanists are atheists believing not the existence of God nor do they worship a mischevious Devil since they do not recognize Satan as a living entity just as not accepting the Christian bible depicting a true Satan.
What made the satanic metal underground ironic is a work from a few fans of black metal music committed desecrations of churches in Norway. Vocalist of Gorgoroth,Gaahl,has stated in a interview,found on the documentary 'Metal: A Headbangers Journey'"Church burnings and all these things are, of course, things that I support 100 percent and it should have been done much more and will be done much more in the future. We have to remove every trace from what Christianity and the Semitic roots have to offer this world. Satanism is freedom for the individual to grow and to become Superman. Every man who is born to be king becomes king. Every man who is born to be a slave doesn't know Satan."Gaahl was convicted in a Norweigan court for allegedly torturing a man in a sadistic ritual. He was sentenced up to 14 months in a prison in February 2005. In a interview with U.K.'s The Observer,Gaahl said "Black metal was never meant to reach an audience. It was purely for our own satisfaction. Something entirely self-centered. The shared goal was to become the true Satan; the elite human, basically. The elite are above rules. So people did what they wanted to do. And they had a common enemy which was, of course, Christianity, socialism and everything that democracy stands for, especially this idea that every man is alike and equal to his neighbour. That, of course, is a fake."His views are rather somewhat true and extreme though I value it and would not torch a church. Not all Christians are alike...it's the bible thumpers and evangelists disguised in fake eloquence who are willing to condemn that are a nuseance. After all,Black Metal is not meant to be enjoyed by the masses. It is not pleasing for all ears. If you don't like it...don't listen. |
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Police exhume the remains of 1971 homicide victim "Jane Doe" on Friday. Police hope to use the latest forensic methods to identify her name and possibly her killer. Photo by Elias Funez/Patterson Irrigator
Photo by Elias Funez/Patterson Irrigator
Photo by Elias Funez/Patterson Irrigator
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